Based on the concept "Paradigm analysis of reality", we try to offer a new approach to the definition of the psychic apparatus and its way of development from the intrauterine period to aging. Notions such as psycho-physical, physical, and imaginary are defined as component parts of the psychic apparatus, as an initial form of the infantile psychic apparatus and a secondary form of the apparatus parallel to the infantile psychic apparatus, the mature psychic apparatus. The development of the self in different stages, such as the quantum-universal-spatial self, the relational self and the real self, is part of the concept of the reality analysis paradigm. The notion of relational intelligence gains importance in defining the individual's ego stage depending on chronological age. Choosing a couple's partnership is part of the real self. Insufficient development of relational intelligence can cause a gap between the state of the ego and the chronological age, and these can affect various decisions as well as the choice of a couple's partner. We try to explain the choice of the couple's partnership in the context of the stages of the functional self during the period of choice. In the absence of the development of the real self at an appropriate level, the individual chooses the partner of the couple based on the activity of the relational self. Usually, parental role models serve as a source of partner choice, and partners develop their couple relationships similarly to parental relationships. And in the event that the quantum-universal-spatial self has an influenceable weight in the psychic apparatus of individuals, they will make the choice of a couple partner based on non-existent fantasies and desires in the couple relationships where they had a familiar model from childhood. The two models of choices are part of the unstable models in the couple relationship, and the only stable model that can form a rewarding family relationship is based on the involvement of the real self on both sides.